By Personal Balance Counseling, Orland Park, IL
The Holiday Season Isn’t Easy for Everyone
The holidays are often portrayed as joyful and full of togetherness — but for individuals recovering from eating disorders, this season can be one of the hardest times of the year. For many people, the holidays mean warmth, tradition, and food. For someone living with an eating disorder—or supporting a loved one who is—this stretch of the year can also bring a sharp spike in anxiety. Between food-centered gatherings, body-image talk, and disrupted routines, even small changes can feel overwhelming.
At Personal Balance Counseling (PBC), we understand that maintaining recovery through the holidays takes support, planning, and compassion. That’s why we’re offering a five-week virtual support group beginning Monday, November 17th at 4 PM, open to individuals across Illinois who want a structured and understanding space to navigate this time of year.
👉 Register here on our website
Why Holiday Gatherings Can Be So Triggering for Eating Disorders
- Food becomes the main event. Abundant, highly visible food and cultural expectations to “indulge” can heighten distress for people with anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder, ARFID, OSFED, and other eating disorders (UCLA Health, 2023).
- Routines are disrupted. Travel, later nights, and unpredictable schedules can make it difficult to follow meal plans and coping routines many people rely to regulate eating and mood. (NEDA, 2022).
- Body talk increases. Casual comments about weight, appearance, “being good/bad,” or New Year dieting can land like a gut punch. Comments like “I’ve been so bad this week” or “I’m starting a diet Monday” are common—and can feel invalidating or shaming (Columbia Psychiatry, 2021).
- Family stress resurfaces. Family dynamics tend to get louder. The holidays concentrate social stressors—conflict, loneliness, or feeling scrutinized—that can influence short-term eating behaviors. Holiday gatherings often bring emotional triggers or scrutiny that can worsen disordered eating urges (APA, 2020).
Big picture: Eating disorders are serious, treatable illnesses. With structured therapy, medical and dietetic care, and compassionate support, recovery remains possible—even during the most challenging seasons. Evidence-based care (CBT-ED, FBT, medication when indicated) remains the foundation—holiday coping strategies are meant to support, not replace, clinical treatment.
A Survival Guide for the Person in Recovery and Tips for Maintaining Recovery During the Holidays
1. Plan with your treatment team.
Before events, align with your therapist/RD on a specific meal/snack plan, plate structure, and a definition of “enough.” Put it in writing on a coping card you can check privately.
At PBC, our therapists and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist Dietitian Dawn White, RDN, CEDS, of Charis Nutrition at Personal Balance Counseling, help clients build realistic, flexible plans that protect recovery.
2. Stick to your eating schedule.
Avoid skipping meals to “save up” for holiday food. This behavior commonly backfires and can trigger binge/restrict cycles. Regular eating maintains energy and reduces binge-restrict cycles (NEDA, 2022).
3. Set boundaries around triggering conversations.
Prepare simple scripts like:
“I’m focusing on enjoying time with everyone, not talking about diets today.”
Rehearsing this beforehand can make it easier to speak up in the moment.
4. Practice grounding skills and use in-the-moment-skills.
Grounding (5-4-3-2-1), paced breathing, mindful bites, and pre-planned “opposite actions” (e.g., sitting with the group for dessert even if anxiety is high) can lower arousal enough to follow your plan. (Skills adjuncts support—but don’t replace—ED care.) Using deep breathing, mindful awareness, or the 5-4-3-2-1 technique if anxiety rise can help. If you’ve practiced DBT skills, this is a great time to use mindfulness and distress tolerance strategies.
5. Create safe exits.
Scope out a quiet room or a short outdoors walk; agree with your support person on a brief, non-dramatic step-away if anxiety spikes. ANAD
6. Debrief kindly, not critically.
After the event, review what helped, what hurt, and one small skill to carry forward. Self-compassion—not perfection—moves recovery. Small insights build long-term resilience — perfection isn’t the goal, progress is. National Alliance for Eating Disorders
How Families and Friends Can Offer Support, Actually Help (and what to avoid!)
Do: focus on connection over consumption.
Plan non-food-centered activities (games, crafts, music, lights drive, shared photos) and keep conversation oriented to relationships, memories, or plans—not bodies or plates. Center for Change
Do: follow the treatment plan.
If your loved one has a clinician-approved plate or seating plan, support it without commentary. For youth, remember that Family-Based Treatment (FBT) positions caregivers to take an active, directive role in meals early in recovery. PMC
Do: offer specific support.
Try: “Would you like me to sit next to you?” “Want to plate together?” “Break outside for five minutes?” Concrete offers beat vague reassurance. ANAD
Don’t: comment on bodies, portions, or weight—at all.
Even “You look healthy!” can be misheard as “You gained weight.” Skip all appearance talk and “Should you eat that?” policing. National Eating Disorders Association
Don’t: run diet talk at the table.
Nix the calorie counts, “being good/bad,” and New Year’s cleanse chatter. If relatives persist, redirect: “We’re keeping food/weight talk off the table today—tell us about your trip!” National Eating Disorders Association
Do: create an environment that lowers threat.
Seat your loved one away from triggering people or the buffet, keep serving dishes off the table if helpful, and stick to agreed-upon timelines so meals don’t stretch endlessly. ANAD
Sample scripts families can borrow
- Redirecting diet talk:
“We’re skipping diet and body talk today. I’d love to hear about your favorite holiday tradition instead.” National Eating Disorders Association
- Responding to food policing:
“We trust their plan and their team; comments about food aren’t helpful. Let’s change the subject.” National Eating Disorders Association
- Offering support during the meal:
“Want to plate together?” / “Ready for our fresh-air minute?” / “I’ll sit with you until you feel settled.” ANAD
Make space for joy (yes, really)
Holiday foods can be part of flexible, balanced eating—no single dish “makes or breaks” health. Let favorite cultural foods be included intentionally and enjoyed mindfully; when guilt fades, binge-urge pressure often drops, too. National Eating Disorders Association+1
Join Our Virtual Holiday Support Group
Personal Balance Counseling’s Virtual Holiday Eating Disorder Support Group
- 🗓 Start Date: Monday, November 24th
- 🕓 Time: 4 PM CST
- 💻 Format: Virtual, 5 weeks only
- 🧭 Focus: Navigating food and family stress, emotion regulation, mindfulness, and DBT skills
- 👥 Led by: DBT-informed therapists from Personal Balance Counseling
- 💬 Register: personalbalancecounseling.com
This group helps individuals develop tools to stay grounded and maintain recovery through the season’s social and emotional challenges.
Clinicians, physicians, and referring providers are invited to collaborate with our team and with Dawn White, RDN, CEDS of Charis Nutrition at Personal Balance Counseling to ensure a comprehensive, connected approach to care.
If You or Someone You Love Needs Immediate Support
Please reach out for help — you are not alone.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988 (24/7)
- Illinois Warm Line — Emotional support and mental-health resource navigation: 866-359-7953
- National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Helpline — Call 1-800-931-2237 or text NEDA to 741741
- NEDA: Education, screening tool, and support resources. National Eating Disorders Association
- The Alliance for Eating Disorders: Holiday guide and support referrals. National Alliance for Eating Disorders
- ANAD: Peer support + holiday coping tips. ANAD
You Can Protect Your Peace This Season
Recovery and connection can coexist, even during the holidays. With preparation, boundaries, and professional guidance, it’s possible to enjoy what matters most — the people and moments, not the plates.
At Personal Balance Counseling, we’re here to help you stay steady and supported through every season.
👉 Join our 5-week Virtual Holiday Eating Disorder Support Group beginning November 24th at 4 PM and surround yourself with others who understand.
Register today or contact us to collaborate on coordinated care.
Related Articles
This blog was developed with support from AI-assisted research tools. All clinical content was reviewed and approved by the Clinical Director, who retains full responsibility for accuracy and clinical appropriateness.