Your Body: Value vs. Goals

Your best friends just texted you to see if you’d like to go to dinner, but you’re on week 2 of your quest to lose 30 lbs in three months. Your goal has become your obsession and fixation over the past 14 days, and you know that you will break your calorie intake for the day if you go. You’ve worked too hard to let up off the gas now. So, you reply “no” and decide to do another intense workout instead, all while wishing that you could have gone. 

Fast forward. You are now in Week 6 of your journey and you should be ecstatic with the progress that you have made. You’ve “only” lost 5 lbs. How could this have happened? Your mind has been cluttered with thoughts like “How am I going to get to 30 lbs in 7 weeks? There is no way that I can do this.” or “ I am a failure.” 

By the end of Week 6, you’ve given up. “There’s no way that I’m going to get to 30 lbs,” Before you know it you are back to the toxic traits that you so desperately wanted to run away from. Creating a fear of food, thinking judgmentally, and comparing your body. You wish that it was easier to have a healthy relationship with yourself and your body. Sound familiar? 

This is a textbook example of burn out that stems from goal-driven lifestyle, something that we are ALL guilty of. This type of behavior occurs when you set a goal, dive in fully to achieve it, but burn out. This doesn’t make you a failure. Not even close. I repeat, this doesn’t make you a failure. 

Let’s look at a value-driven lifestyle. You’re not fixating on your goals and panicking if you don’t reach them. You’ve set your efforts on experiences that you would enjoy in your life. This builds self-awareness and mind-body connection.  Yes, you still have goals, but you have a different mindset about them. For example, “this is my goal, I’m going to honor the privilege of working towards said goal, but I’m going to make mistakes and there will be breaks. I will not punish myself for those.“  

Instead of focusing on pounds, you are focusing on Movement and Balance as a whole. An example of this mindset is telling yourself – “ I am going to walk my dog more, rollerblade, do yoga, or weight train because this is a privilege to my body that I want to honor. “ Let your body tell you what you need. Say yes to going out for pizza with your friends without counting the calories while you’re there. Don’t punish yourself tomorrow by restricting your calorie intake to “make up” for the pizza with your friends.  Embrace the things that make you happy, while also being mindful of your healthy values. 

Living a value-driven lifestyle does not diminish your goals. It accentuates them. It allows you to be a HUMAN first, and all humans experience error and growth.


Using Your Body as an Ally to Work with Stress

You know what it feels like. Your heart is pounding, hands are shaking, and sweat is dribbling down the sides of your face.  To some, it may feel like clenching fists, increased heat in the face and body, or a tightened jaw. Despite these physical sensations attributing to different emotions, the reality remains the same.  You are entering a state of body crisis. This is a state where you become emotionally overloaded with stress. To better understand how to work with this uncomfortable experience, it’s best to first identify what we’re working with.