Self-Compassion: Do you talk to yourself as you talk to your friends?

“Treat those around you as you would like to be treated.”

That golden rule we have all known and heard of. But how often do we apply the same rule to ourselves?

It was 9:15 and I had an appointment that started in 10 minutes. My alarm went off but I on today of all days I snoozed it. I quickly threw on some yoga pants, ran a brush through my hair and while looking at myself in the mirror that bully that I know all too well started to appear.

  • Why do you do this? What’s wrong with you?
  • How hard is it to just get up?
  • You would be late to this appointment.
  • Ugh you look so fat, when are you going to start putting in more effort?
  • You’re not good enough, you need to improve.

When things are not going the way that I had hoped, I immediately get critical of myself. The critical thoughts and voice get louder and louder and seem to hijack my thoughts.

Maybe you also hear that voice. This bully who takes over and is hard to get rid of. The more we speak negatively to ourselves, the more we tend to take on those beliefs.

So what can we do?

When that voice creeps in, counter with kindness. In mindfulness practice we utilize what is called “loving kindness.” Loving kindness pushes us to see others in the best possible light – despite the flaws.

So how can we show ourselves loving kindness?

Think Kind: Counter the negative thoughts with neutral or positive thoughts.

  • I believe I am capable of these things
  • I am worthy of my own love
  • I am trying my best
  • I have been through a lot and am working on these things

Speak to others with kindness: Avoid verbally abusing yourself to others.

  • Avoid self deprecation and sarcasm
  • Compliment yourself out load
  • Accept praise from others
  • Giver yourself verbal praise

Show acts of kindness: Self love.

  • Sleep well
  • Take care of your health
  • Treat yourself
  • Feed your mind good things
  • Get some good exercise

Treat yourself with loving kindness and silence the critique!